Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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