I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
