Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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