i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
