Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
