it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
