Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
