dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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