How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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