I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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