and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
