guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
