Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
