I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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