problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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