dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He did a backflip because drugs
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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