look no pants
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
