your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Congratulations! We have a period
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