dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
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Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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