he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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