smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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