How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
