I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
