Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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