i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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