AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
