But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
