I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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