what day is it and did you see me today?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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