i think my tv is drunk
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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