There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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