I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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