found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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