i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
