One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
