I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize