he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
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My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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