I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
