I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
