Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
