i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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