...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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