I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
