i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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