I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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