Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I need to align my fucking chakras
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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