Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize