Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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