Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
