I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize