the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
