If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize