Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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