i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
