is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
