She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
