I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
