I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
