I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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