i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
