i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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