Porn is love you can see.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
