um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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