Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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