I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
