Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
