So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize