Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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