Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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