You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
