Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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